Salvar me de mí mismo (Save me from myself )

It takes further efforts and guts to face and challenge my old behavior promulgated by no other than me. The programmed DNA running my system for decades was really hard to beat, and that became the greatest challenge I have to face. I was not sure if I am going to last the 4 months class for I knew I'm gonna exceed  the 5 allowed absences, aside from an elusive dream of having my own camera. Having these thoughts created an uncertainty, heavy, and chaotic world inside me. Not to forget the stereotyping and intimidating approach of the people around me (showing off their cams) dragging me down, inculcating letters F-A-I-L-U-R-E in my head. I seek help but found nothing; no one is left but me. I remember Bruce Lee's master said "break the mirror and you will see the true image of your enemy" the later scene of Enter the dragon film. So in this battle I have to stand alone and face my greatest enemy, me. Me fighting myself looks so stupid for some, but hey man that's the first thing you do before achieving other things.

Should I stay imbecile? Hell no!

Back then, I hate pressures like loads of assignments and short notice deadlines. It made me think to pick up my katana blades and go berserk inside the campus decapitating faculty members just like in video games. But of course it's just an imagination hehehe. Little did I know that those things were set up to guide me to something constructive. First - of course most of the time I was late in submitting the pictures (because I have to wait for my classmates to send me my photos from their cams). It's not an excuse anyway but unconsciously I was able to comply all the requirements. Second -always aiming to come on time but still I’m late but surprisingly I was able to attend all the meetings (miraculously no absent). From being an "invisible guy" to "latecomer" means a lot to me.  Those were the two amazing things I have achieved in DC89 class that never happened in my entire college life, the biggest leap ever. It may seem so easy for others but we have to remember that we have our own strengths and weaknesses. It might be easy for some to come early to class and come up with a judgment that I am weak for being late. What if I’ll ask them with my strengths - can you sing in front a huge crowd? Can you draw like this? etc. Certainly not all of them can do these "simple things" of mine. Like I said it’s a matter of strengths and weaknesses within us.

Astonishingly I became a different person, somehow. I am more responsible than before. Instead to be driven by fear to fail in this subject, I was fueled with courage and faith to prove that I am not a loser. This is the main reason why I’m still fighting no matter how the ambiance seems so hopeless. Now my spirit is taking over my body, we’re in business. Learning photography then became more interesting to me and was not a problem anymore. I hate writing blogs because I don’t read that much, but now I enjoy doing it. Not as good as my classmates but I am happy to learn a new medium of expressing myself aside from painting and music.

So this is what all is about! It's not just a photography class for me but it was a subject packed of learning. Of course I learned a lot how to use the cam, compose to capture a good shot etc. It inspired me to be a photographer someday not just for art's sake but to be a journalist as well sending message to the public, just as what DevCom taught us. With discipline, initiative, and cooperation I guess everything would be somehow easier for me to pursue this career someday. This blog might be different from my classmates view of what they've learned, the hell I care. What matters most is I have learned to discipline myself and for sure everything will be fine in the future not just for photography but for everything I will encounter in my endeavor. Kudos to my mentor, I will forever be grateful for everything I have learned from him for I have redeem myself from the dark path that I used to follow. It gave me hope to respond all the challenges, realized my mistakes, became a better person and now ready to play with the greatest game called life, saved.

resulta sa ako na tun-an sa dc 89 class, akong achievement para sa akoang kaugalingon karon na sem